Look familiar? This little gift courtesy of the City of Olympia's Parking Services - lovely Rita, meter maid - was on my windshield when I finished a client meeting downtown this week. I'd like to say my reaction was one of loving kindness. But I'd be lying. And that's where Buddha comes in.
As I was walking later in the week with a Buddhist friend, we talked about anger - hers, mine, everyone's. She told me of her Buddhist teacher's encouragement to welcome anger - and all other emotions - as windows into who we are and how we operate. Let it teach you about yourself was her (paraphrased) recommendation. Let it point the way to other ways of being - maybe loving kindness. As we walked, I realized that I had followed that advice without having heard it.
I've recently welcomed anger as my guide. This decision came to me in the midst of a new relationship. Old relationship patterns that I thought I had left far behind had been surfacing. What was going on? Who was this angry person? I could see that I was hurting this man that I love. But maybe more importantly, I was hurting myself. What would it mean to be kind to myself? I resolved not to hang on to, not to stew in, not to inflict harm to myself or others with my anger. Tall order for an impatient, critical, perfectionist. But it's time.
I reviewed what had happened when I got the ticket. My temper flared. Look, I'm Irish and a redhead - what can I say? I could actually see "Rita" around the corner, just doing her job. My anger was immediately directed at her. And as quickly as it flared, I realized how unfair it was to be mad at her. She was, after all, only doing her job. A job, I bet she's mighty grateful to have. What followed was a train of thought that carried me from desert of anger to the wildlands of fear very quickly. What was I angry about? What was beneath the anger? I was afraid. The anger covered fear about money - an old, but familiar rut in this woman's road. With a recent dip in income, my old "not enough" fears have resurfaced. As I sat with the fear, I remembered what I know. I really know there is enough. I really know I'll be OK. I can remember these truths when I take a deep breath and follow my emotions (e•motion = energy in motion). When I don't deny them, block them, or worse, project them out there on someone else (an unfortunate but common human habit), that is. As the anger and fear disolved, I was left feeling clear, relaxed and slightly amused at myself. This moment anger and fear showed up. The next moment, something new. May I (and you) welcome all emotions, follow them to those dark, hidden places and mine the treasure.
As I was walking later in the week with a Buddhist friend, we talked about anger - hers, mine, everyone's. She told me of her Buddhist teacher's encouragement to welcome anger - and all other emotions - as windows into who we are and how we operate. Let it teach you about yourself was her (paraphrased) recommendation. Let it point the way to other ways of being - maybe loving kindness. As we walked, I realized that I had followed that advice without having heard it.
I've recently welcomed anger as my guide. This decision came to me in the midst of a new relationship. Old relationship patterns that I thought I had left far behind had been surfacing. What was going on? Who was this angry person? I could see that I was hurting this man that I love. But maybe more importantly, I was hurting myself. What would it mean to be kind to myself? I resolved not to hang on to, not to stew in, not to inflict harm to myself or others with my anger. Tall order for an impatient, critical, perfectionist. But it's time.
I reviewed what had happened when I got the ticket. My temper flared. Look, I'm Irish and a redhead - what can I say? I could actually see "Rita" around the corner, just doing her job. My anger was immediately directed at her. And as quickly as it flared, I realized how unfair it was to be mad at her. She was, after all, only doing her job. A job, I bet she's mighty grateful to have. What followed was a train of thought that carried me from desert of anger to the wildlands of fear very quickly. What was I angry about? What was beneath the anger? I was afraid. The anger covered fear about money - an old, but familiar rut in this woman's road. With a recent dip in income, my old "not enough" fears have resurfaced. As I sat with the fear, I remembered what I know. I really know there is enough. I really know I'll be OK. I can remember these truths when I take a deep breath and follow my emotions (e•motion = energy in motion). When I don't deny them, block them, or worse, project them out there on someone else (an unfortunate but common human habit), that is. As the anger and fear disolved, I was left feeling clear, relaxed and slightly amused at myself. This moment anger and fear showed up. The next moment, something new. May I (and you) welcome all emotions, follow them to those dark, hidden places and mine the treasure.
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